everybody knows

its all botllin up.I cant hold it inside. I wanted to call you this morning.I didnt.It makes me wanna listen to some violent music and drink my self to death.I didnt do those either.well now, i'm crackin up.But i can handle it.I called my new friend i told you about,no not called,texted.well, turns out, it wont make me happy either and the new motto is that i dont seek it so ...so what??? It leaves the first option as best.Listen to some violent music and drink your self to death. Well, i'm exaggerating obviously.. I really like the flueness in drinking.The thoughts keeps changing like viruses, everytime you catch one and treat it ,it changes itself to something else. and after a while, you dont know what you think about.They pass in an impossible speed, like subtitles.
the subtitles of my mind.I wish that would be real thou' .Its hard enough thinkin them let alone understand them...
Guess what, this is quickly turning out to be one of my psychotic breaks.But.. but there's always a chance i forget what i was thinkin if i'm drinkin...well ,if i am not alone.if i am alone. I concantrate.
you remember high school? We thought we were lonely...Such idiots. Us i mean...How dare we could pronounce LONELINESS ?
I know what it is now...Well i kinda like it too...sometimes.Sometimes, its hell.Like today.
I found myself thinkin "if only i had other chances" thats a lie. I had all the chances in the world. I did what i like. And now 'm here, i cant complain. Then another voice in me said : the hell i cant complain. I can complain all i want..
If there were a little less of me.. I cant handle all this crowd.Well they kinda outnumber me.I dont have them in control anymore.

The screams in that song...I know the screams.And the bass.And the drums. I feel them.In my brain, while they are all talkin...I dont agree with most of them but like i say, they outnumbered me.

Last night was quite. In peace. Now, i'm getting sicker, lonelier, more bitter, more sour.. I wasn't supposed to be here.

ıts all really understandable in this language.I dont twist them like i do in my own tongue.So please? Can you try and understand me this time??